Posted 20 hours ago

Cops and Robbers

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Julianne Hough joined the judges panel, and fit right in. She is as sexually frustrated as Bruno and Carrie Ann (who both wasted no time in panting over the first male contestant). Julianne spent the evening hitting on every male contestant over forty because they remind her of her dad. If this Electra complex takes hold, it could be an awkward season. Other than that, her judging was pretty spot-on, and far better than Carrie Ann’s. I cannot write a list about grandmas in books and not include The Summer Book, which features one of my all-time, absolute favourite Grandmas ever. I know it's not a children's book, but Jansson is one of our most beloved children's authors so... Seventh Place, 27 points: Tommy and Peta (Cha-Cha). What ghastly abomination was this?! More importantly, why are the judges humoring it? A 76 year-old man who can barely move, gyrating to some rap song that is a quarter the speed of any actual dance music, and reiterating ceaselessly that he’s a stoner. This should have gotten threes, or fours if feeling generous. If he’s not the first one out tomorrow, we are going to have a problem this season. Odds of elimination: 1 in 3.

All the Milly-Molly-Mandy tales have a special place in my heart, but the young entrepreneur in me (who sadly scarpered when I was about 10) especially loved Milly-Molly-Mandy Spends a Penny - no, not that penny, an actual penny! Fifth Place, 30 points: Jonathan and Allison (Jive). Jonathan got a jump start on Personal Story Week by talking about his recently deceased father out of the gate. I’m betting we’ll revisit this issue in two weeks, where it’ll have more impact than the 10 seconds we saw of him tearing up. As for his dance – it was ambitious, but it was not very good, technically. However, it was an excellent routine. That’s what I love about new pros – they have something to prove, and actually work hard to include proper choreography. Jonathan is a superb performer. His smile is so infectious, it almost distracted me from the appalling footwork. Odds of elimination: 1 in 50. If you’re like me, you’d already forgotten half the stars by the 9:30 mark. And for the first week, we get to vote the old-fashioned way, mull over who’ll be eliminated, and watch a dedicated results show. So to jog your memory, for the first time this season, let’s welcome our stars! not Bookswagon, are responsible for the contents of your submission. None of the content that you submit shall be subject to any obligation of confidence on the part of Bookswagon, its agents,


Every one of my students is a potential hero in the making': How Muhammad Khan's class inspired his award-winning book Sixth Place (tie), 29 points: Janel and Val (Jive). It was revealed in the eleventh hour of this routine that it was, in fact, meant to be a jive. But for one lonely triple-step, I would’ve never known. But Janel sure as hell performed whatever it was she was dancing. Val complimented her by saying she has swag like his grandma – and as Tom said, this was the night grandma swag became a good thing. Janel and Val have absolutely great banter, and when Erin joins in, it practically becomes a sitcom. Hopefully people other than Pretty Little Liars fans vote for her, but she was so early in the show that I worry. Odds of elimination: 1 in 25. The child's innocent amazement at ALL the lines on her Nana's face is so honestly reported and the Nana's beautiful explanation that each line holds a memory is just charming. I love this idea as it's all too easy to see an old person and just see, well, an old person - when of course they have lived rich and full lives, doing silly, sad, serious and wondrous things. Well, this book is beautiful in all kinds of ways, but the quiet, calm and unwavering character of Julian's Grandma is an utter joy. The unfortunate trend of score inflation appears to continue. Used to be, week 1 nines were reserved for the likes of Sabrina Bryan and Kristi Yamaguchi. And then in the last year, they became as commonplace as sequins on this show. Some are deserved and some aren’t, but this overall score inflation is an irksome trend. If a couple gets straight nines out of the gate, that means they are one step away from perfection. And the fun of the show is watching couples slowly achieve perfection.

Grandma tells the stories over long summer days and nights, as seven children enjoy life in her little town. The stories entertain, educate and provide hours of enjoyment to them. So come, why don't you too join in the fun? Third Place (tie), 32 points: Bethany and Derek (Jive). Yet again, Derek and his partner are the ones to beat! They emerged with a superb dance, and I’m placing my bets that they’ll make the finals. Between Derek’s choreography and fans, Bethany’s easily mobilized fanbase, and her now-evident dance skills, the other couples have their work cut out for them. Odds of elimination: 1 in 100. The super-stylish, super-cool, super-fun Grandma Z takes her grandson Albert on a birthday trip to remember... on her motorbike, obviously! The acceptance, support and unconditional love she gives throughout the story makes your heart sing and is another wonderful example of the uncluttered relationship between the grandparent and grandchild.

A reminder of the true art of storytelling': Celebrating Henrietta Branford's powerful novel Fire, Bed & Bone It is magical, so beautifully observed and tenderly told, though not without heartbreak. Granpa is such a wonderful way to remember the genius, John Burningham.

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